


anchors and stars

by akamine_chan, Rhea314 (Rhea)



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mythical Creatures, Community: pod-together, M/M, Podfic Available, Podfic Length: 30-45 Minutes, Russian Translation Available
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-06
Updated: 2013-09-06
Packaged: 2017-12-23 23:31:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/932385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akamine_chan/pseuds/akamine_chan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhea/pseuds/Rhea314
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard knew nothing but the ocean.  He was born to the sea, he would die among the waves, and in between he would live his life in her cool embrace.  It was the way of his people, from the beginning of time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	anchors and stars

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [anchors and stars](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4782152) by [cranzerman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cranzerman/pseuds/cranzerman)



> Written by akamine_chan, performed by Rhea314.
> 
> Beta work and endless support and cheering by Ande and Luce, additional cheering by Rhea.
> 
> Somewhere along the line the story got truncated and is now fixed (9/12/13) /o\

 

  
  
[MP3 zip](http://rhea314.parakaproductions.com/Anchors%20and%20Stars%20by%20Akamine_chan.mp3.zip), [M4B zip](http://rhea314.parakaproductions.com/01%20Anchors%20and%20Stars.m4b.zip)  


* * *

Gerard knew nothing but the ocean. He was born to the sea, he would die among the waves, and in between he would live his life in her cool embrace. It was the way of his people, from the beginning of time.

The walkers, the _hu-mans_ , were a mystery to him. He knew only that they couldn't _see_ the world as it truly was, and as a whole they seemed somehow dangerous and fragile at the same time. 

From the time he and Mikey were small fry, his mother told them stories of the walkers, how they were graceless and clumsy, gill-less and unable to breathe properly. She spun tales of fen rescuing walkers from dangerous currents and shifting tides, and walkers who tried to steal fen from their homes for strange, unknown purposes. 

When they were older, she wove legends of fen who'd left the sea for walkers, and Gerard couldn't help but notice that those tales ended. . .badly, at least for the fen.

Their grandmother, Elena, told different stories, ones about walkers and fen meeting and finding common ground, falling in love, defying tradition and culture and family to forge new bonds, new lives.

He was never sure how close to truth _any_ of the stories were.

* * *

Frank's family, for generations, had close ties to the sea. His family had been sailors and fishers, shipwrights and divers for as long as anyone could remember. His grandfather owned a touristy curio shop next to the shore that sold shells and other trinkets, and his grandmother ran a ship-for-hire. He'd spent his summers with them, learning how to crew the ship, and selling sand dollars and conch shells to tourists. 

His skin, already a rich olive, turned even darker over the course of the summer and his hair grew long and sun-streaked. _Piratino_ , his grandfather called him affectionately. Little pirate.

Frank didn't want to be a pirate, he just wanted to spend his life by the ocean, listening to the sounds of the waves, smelling the salt tang, watching the moonlight reflect off the mirrored surface. He never wanted to go back home at the end of the season, to the urban landscape of skyscrapers and asphalt. 

His grandmother was a storyteller, and from the time he'd been a toddler, she'd told him stories about the sea folk, long since gone from these waters. Sometimes, she'd seen them knifing through the water like dolphins, skin pale with a hint of blue, graceful and beautiful. When she talked of them, her voice was dreamy and soft, and Frank could hear an echo of longing that he felt when he went back to the city.

Sometimes, she whispered, a human fell in love with one of them, and followed them into the deeps, lost forever to their friends and family. Or, one of the sea people came ashore and married into human families, always different and strange, pining for their lost home under the waves. "It never ends well," she said, sadly.

* * *

Frank is sixteen.

It's a beautiful, sunny day, with enough of a breeze to keep the heat from being unbearable. Frank adjusts his ball cap and winces at the raucous shouts coming from the bow of the ship. The _Lady_ had been chartered by a group wanting a day of fishing and drinking, so here they are, Frank and his cousin Jen crewing for his nanna, bringing the clients cold beers and helping them untangle their lines.

The clients aren't really here to fish; it's about getting away from their wives and kids and putting aside their responsibilities for a while. It's not surprising that they're a little drunk, a little rowdy. The water's rougher than usual and Frank worries that it won't be long before the clients start to feel sea sick. Luckily, there's enough Dramamine in the first aid cabinet to choke a whale.

Frank rounds the stern of the boat, keeping his eye out for problems. Clients sometimes think it's funny to take a piss over the side, even though there's a perfectly good restroom in the cabin, so Frank makes periodic sweeps to the aft. It's a blind spot from the bow and he'd rather take the time and double check, make sure no one's messing around or falling overboard.

There's a flash in the water, something big, and Frank doesn't think twice, he moves to look. The _Lady_ shudders and rolls, his balance is blown and he trips over his own feet. He has a second to panic before his head connects with the small platform that juts out from the stern.

* * *

The splash is soundless, but Gerard feels the vibration of it, and looks up. There's a walker, sinking down into the water, limp and still, hair fanning around his face.

Gerard's never been this close to a walker before, but he knows something is wrong. The walker is unconscious, a trail of bubbles escaping his mouth as he floats down toward the sea bottom. Gerard bites his lip. Chances are that the walker is beyond saving; they're notoriously fragile when out of their environment. But. . .

He flicks his tail and swims nearer, circling carefully. He knows that walkers can be tricky and Gerard really doesn't want to get kidnapped and taken away from his home for mysterious, nefarious purposes. Gerard watches the walker for a little longer; he can see strange patterns on the skin of his neck, his arms. Gerard wants to _touch_ , trace the delicate black lines across skin, over muscle and bone.

He wants to _see_ the drawings. Gerard reaches, grasps the walker's hand and—

There's a strange fish that Gerard had encountered once, flat and brown with spots. When he touched it, it made his fingers tingle and twitch, like being tickled from the inside, but weirdly painful, too. Gerard had avoided those fish after that, and his grandmother had nodded in recognition when he'd told her about them.

Touching the walker is like touching that fish, but the sensation grows stronger, sending shivers down his spine. He knows when the walker abruptly wakes, and Gerard _feels_ his fear and surprise like it's his own. Their eyes meet, and Gerard gets lost in the walker's gaze. It's like being born and dying all in the same moment.

Frank, his name is Frank, and his mind is a wondrous place, filled with memories and images beyond Gerard's comprehension. Scenes from the walker world, flashing fast through Frank’s mind, so completely different from Gerard’s life in the sea. Gerard sees the big metal whales that the walkers travel in and the huge reefs where they live, places where the walkers are crowded together like schools of fish. He feels Frank's love of the sea and his family, strong and endless, like a current.

Gerard doesn't understand most of what he experiences, but it doesn't matter, because he _knows_ Frank, every fear, every joy, every longing, want, desire. He feels Frank's bright intelligence and curiosity, and it's like looking into a mirror. He is Frank, and Frank is him, they are one.

Gerard can feel the shock radiating from Frank and the moment is broken. Frank can't breathe, _can't breathe_ , and Gerard doesn't think, just pushes toward the ship’s shadow above with strong strokes of his tailfin, dragging Frank with him to the surface. He breaks through and pushes Frank closer to the ship, wincing as Frank coughs and spits up water.

The air is cold and tastes strange, and there are noises coming from the ship, and Gerard's instincts are telling him to retreat before more walkers show up. He has to go, but it feels so wrong to leave Frank. the idea of being away from Frank _hurts_ , but he can't stay. He knows this.

"Frank," he croaks, and the name feels strange on his tongue. His people rarely use sound to communicate, but Gerard knows that it's how the walkers express themselves. "Frank," he says again, more sure.

"Don't go," Frank says.

Gerard doesn't understand the words, but he senses the emotions behind them. There's shouting, louder words, and Gerard needs to leave. He blinks his inner eyelids and tries to burn the image of Frank into his memory before flicking his tail and diving down, swimming away as fast as he can.

* * *

Frank's huddled in a chair, a towel wrapped around his shoulders, a mug of hot chocolate between his hands. His face is tear-streaked, but his nanna is chalking that up to his near-drowning.

He can still feel. . .Gerard, his name is Gerard, but it's like a distant tickle in the back of his mind, nothing like the bright, flickering presence he experienced when they were touching. It leaves him feeling empty and lost.

"It's okay, _piratino_ ," his grandmother croons, petting his damp hair. "Everything's going to be fine."

Frank wishes he could believe her, but he suspects that nothing is ever going to be fine again. He's alone in his own head and it's too quiet.

* * *

Mikey knows there's something wrong; they're brothers, after all, tied by blood and birth. Elena is suspicious, as well, but Gerard manages to avoid both of them. He spends a lot of time exploring an old shipwreck, playing tag with the eels hiding among the wooden planks, studying the artifacts he finds in the cargo holds. The objects take on new significance, new meanings, when viewed through Frank's memories.

Gerard wonders how he can miss someone so much that it _hurts_ , a physical ache in his chest.

He spends some time dreaming with a passing pod of whales. They sing him songs the past and tell him of the future, and for a while, it helps remind him of how wide the world is. The whale-folk are wise and knowing, and croon to him about soul-ties and two-as-one.

Gerard doesn't feel so fortunate in having this. . .bond with a walker. They're from different cultures, different worlds, with nothing in common.

_You will be together,_ the whales sing.

Gerard wishes he could believe it.

He _feels_ Frank, a warm presence in the back of his head. It's impossible to tell if the longing that curls through his blood is his, or Frank's, and Gerard tries to ignore it for as long as he can.

* * *

It's been close to a year since Frank almost drowned, and the memory still feels like a dream. If it weren't for the fact that he can _feel_ Gerard in the back of his mind, he would think that he'd imagined the whole experience.

Gerard haunts his dreams, and sometimes Frank wakes up, tears streaking his face with how badly he misses Gerard. He doesn't understand why they're so connected, why he longs to see Gerard's sharp-featured face again.

Food is uninteresting and he's listless and pale, loses too much weight until his parents send him to the doctor, who can find nothing physically wrong with him. The doctor talks to Frank about being a teenager and hormones and the changes that happen during puberty, gives him a book ( _What Puberty Means For You!_ ) and tells Frank to stop worrying so much.

He can't explain to the doctor about Gerard, how he wants to be with this person that he might have imagined or hallucinated while he was failing to breathe underwater, how he _needs_ to touch him and be near him. He doesn't throw the book at the doctor, or punch her in the face, though the urge to do both is strong. His problem isn't _puberty_.

Frank doesn't visit his grandparents that summer, making excuses about taking extra classes to get ahead in school, improving his college resumé. The truth is that he can't even contemplate hiding how he feels from his nanna; he's always been close to her and she'll _know_ , and then she'll pry the truth from him and he'll have to explain how he was saved by a—a _merperson_ and now has all these _feelings_ that he just can't deal with. . .

He throws himself into his school work and tries to minimize his moping, at least in front of the parentals. It's harder to ignore the fact that every night he dreams about Gerard.

* * *

Gerard's people don't sleep, but they do dream.

Gerard dreams about Frank. Sometimes Frank talks and laughs, and Gerard can't understand a word, but he basks in Frank's presence, feeling warm and complete. Other times, Gerard dreams that he's lost in a system of interconnected caverns, searching for Frank and when he finally finds him, Frank's still and cold, silent.

Those dreams take a while to shake off and Gerard spends a lot of time afterward huddling close to Mikey.

He can feel that Frank is back in his reef home, surrounded by schools of walkers, so Gerard explores the waters near shore. He finds a shoal of rocks that are pretty exposed during low tide, and spends time practicing his breathing. It's hard to get the hang of not using his gills; he has to concentrate.

Gerard isn't sure why he's even bothering. He's not a walker, he can't live like them, upright on land. He can't stay out of the water for long; he skin gets dry and his eyes get irritated and the air hurts his chest. It's useless and futile, and he knows he needs to accept that.

The moon shines bright, and Gerard sits on his rocks, tail idly splashing water as he breathes, in and out, in and out. He tries not to stretch out his senses to find Frank, but he can't help himself. Frank's asleep, and Gerard brushes lightly against his mind, the brief touch reminds him how hopelessly in love he is with Frank.

_Sleep_ , he sings, and Frank sinks deeper into his slumber.

* * *

Frank tries, but he can't stay away from the sea.

He convinces some of his friends to take a weekend trip down to the Shore to celebrate graduation; they party and get drunk and have a bonfire on the beach. The alcohol dulls everything, even Gerard's presence, and Frank falls asleep in the sand.

When he wakes, his eyes are gritty and he's sure something nasty died in his mouth. He sits up and brushes the sand off his skin, squinting at the rising sun reflecting off of the water. It takes a while for his brain to process what he's seeing, the silhouette of man swimming away from shore, his tailfin propelling him forward. . .

"Gerard?" Frank whispers uncertainly.

The swimmer stops and turns, bobbing in the waves.

Frank uses a hand to shield his eyes from the brightness, trying to see Gerard's face. Sometimes he worries that he's forgotten what Gerard looks like.

_Miss you._ Gerard turns and dives under the water.

Frank watches, unblinking, but Gerard never resurfaces. He spends the rest of the weekend quietly drunk, and his friends try to cheer him up, but he just withdraws even more.

They stop at his nonno's shop for some sodas and snacks before they hit the road, and his nanna's there; he'd hoped she'd be out on a charter with the _Lady_. She takes one look at his wan face and pulls him in for a hug.

" _Caro_ , what's wrong?"

Frank shakes his head and holds tight, wishing that he still believed that his grandmother could make everything better with a hug and some cookies.

She pushes him away and gazes into his eyes, tucking his hair behind his ears. "Why do you hurt so much, here?" she asks, laying her palm flat against his chest.

He bites his bottom lip and blinks against the sting in his eyes. "I met someone. . ."

"Which is usually a cause for happiness," she points out.

"Unless it's someone I can never have."

She's confused. "What do you mean?"

A horn blares from the parking lot, and Frank sees that his friends are piled in the car, ready to go.

" _Piratino_ , go. But come back soon. We will sail the _Lady_ and talk about this." She's firm and Frank knows there's no arguing with her. She will just nag him until he does what she wants, so it's better to give in gracefully.

"Okay. Love you." He kisses her cheek, gives her another hug and scrambles toward the door. "Love you, Nonno!" he shouts to his befuddled grandfather. The door slams shut behind him.

* * *

Mikey catches Gerard on his rocks, so near the shore, his head popping out of the water and startling Gerard. Mikey's eyes are wide as he takes in Gerard, breathing the air like a walker. Gerard wants to make excuses, that this is nothing but an experiment, a prank, a game, but Mikey isn't easily fooled.

He _knows_ , because he knows Gerard, they're brothers, bound to each other in their own way. Mikey takes Gerard's hand, threads their fingers together, and holds on.

Once Mikey knows, Gerard finds it impossible to keep his secret from the rest of his family. His mother looks at him sadly and his father tries to cheer him up by taming an octopus and giving it to Gerard as a pet. The octopus follows him around and changes colors to reflect Gerard's moods. It turns blue and stays that way, until Gerard takes pity on it and gives it to Mikey. It seems happier.

Elena takes him on a long journey south, searching for one of the elder plant-eaters that she's known since she was a fry. They find her, and she's old and wise, her back covered by terrible scars from the walkers. She's gentle and slow and she remembers everything, and she tells Gerard funny stories of when Elena was young.

She can _see_ Frank through Gerard and she marvels at the strength of their bond. It's a matter of heart, she tells Gerard and Elena. His heart can transform lives, fix what's broken, create love where none was before. Gerard just needs to remember that.

They stay with the Elder for a while; the southern waters are crisp and clear and there are places for Gerard to explore while Elena dreams with the Elder. When the Elder starts her migration even further south, Elena and Gerard part ways with her, heading home to their family.

* * *

Gerard's feels further away than normal; Frank worries. He visits his nanna and confesses everything, convinced that she's going to think he's crazy. She doesn't, though.

"I wish you'd told me sooner, Frankie," she says, patting his hand. "I've been so worried about you."

Frank shrugs and blushes and she talks about the stories she's heard about the sea folk, and their lives. "There has to be a way," she mutters, and goes to dig through her collection of journals. She's been keeping journals since she was a little girl, writing down the tales that had been passed down through generations of their family.

Frank goes off to college. He doesn't really want to, but he's got a scholarship and really, nothing else to do with his life. He takes some marine biology classes, trying to understand Gerard and his kind, and a handful of business classes so he can help out Nanna and Nonno. He plays guitar with a band during the weekends, just to earn cash to get more tattoos. Frank's had a fake ID since he was sixteen and there had been shouting over his first few, _illegal_ tattoos.

His tattoos, unsurprisingly, have a nautical theme. Anchors, stars, the sea, and plenty of other images. Frank remembers how attracted to the tattoos Gerard was, and he's secretly pleased with the idea of tempting Gerard with more.

He still feels the call of the sea, and Gerard, and he tries to get to the Shore at least once a month, hoping to catch a glimpse of Gerard. He sits on a ragged blanket on the beach, sometimes with a little bonfire, and watches the moon rise over the ocean. Sometimes he's still awake when the sun comes up.

He doesn't see Gerard.

* * *

Gerard swims toward the shore. He's weary, but he needs to see Frank. He can feel him, close, so close, and Gerard is so tired of fighting against what his heart wants. Frank's been haunting his dreams lately, and Gerard just wants to touch him, just once more. He wants to look at Frank's face, and commit Frank's features to his memory. He's so afraid of forgetting.

He breaks the surface once he's near his regular rocks, and Frank is there, waiting.

"Gerard?" His voice is filled with disbelief, and Gerard is rocked by the force of Frank's happiness. "Gerard!" Frank reaches out to touch, but his fingers stop short. "I'm afraid that if I try to touch you, you'll disappear."

Gerard tilts his head and settles his cheek against the palm of Frank's hand, sighing quietly.

"Oh," Frank says. "You're real."

Gerard covers Frank's fingers with his own, pressing them against his face. He feels at peace, and complete, for the first time in years. Gerard doesn't know how he can live like this, half of his heart, his soul in someone else's body, a walker's body. It hurts too much.

He tangles their fingers together and rests his head on Frank's thigh for a moment. This is exactly where he wants to be, near Frank, feeling him warm and solid under his touch. Gerard surges up and joins Frank on the shoal, pressing their lips together gently.

Frank's lips are chapped and rough and Gerard doesn't care, it's perfect. This is what he needs, this is how things are meant to be. Frank makes a soft sound and it makes Gerard's stomach twist, because it sounds so needy—

He pulls away, licking at his mouth and tasting Frank. He wants more, but he can't have it now, not with them separated like this, one living on the land, one living in the sea. Gerard slides back into the water.

"No—" Frank's hand is stretched out toward Gerard, eyes wide.

Gerard touches their fingers together. _Wait._ He flips his tail and dives down, grabbing a double handful of sand. He holds the sand in his cupped hands, closes his eyes, and _wishes_ with all of his heart. The Elder said he could transform lives, and that's what he wants. A transformation.

There's a flash of light and when Gerard opens his eyes, there's an abalone shell in his hands, smooth swirls of blue and green and pink, black squiggly lines. It's beautiful. He can feel it thrumming softly, echoing the beat of his heart.

He swims back to the surface and sets the shell next to Frank. Gerard wonders if he's really thought this through, but he realizes he's never really had a choice in the matter. He can't live like this anymore, separated from Frank.

He presses his hand over Frank's heart. "Home," he says carefully.

Frank mirrors the action, hand to Gerard's chest. "Home," he echoes.

Gerard grabs the shell and closes his eyes, and focuses his will and determination on changing. Elena and the Elder both said this was possible, becoming a walker, and it's what he wants, what he needs.

There's a splash, and Gerard can feel Frank next to him, but he doesn't waver in his concentration. This _has_ to work, he can't live without Frank.

* * *

Frank's not exactly sure what Gerard is doing, but Frank's going to help him. He'll do anything if they can be together. He slides into the water next to Gerard and touches the shell he's holding, feeling it vibrate across his nerves.

His skin tingles, and suddenly Frank is twitchy and tense, a wave of pain washing over him. It hurts so much, his body feels like its tearing itself apart, turning inside out. He slides under the surface of the water, distracted by the agony that's rippling through him. Frank thinks about panicking and struggling, but he can't. He can't do anything but writhe and try to breathe.

The blackness pulls him under.

He doesn't know how long he's unconscious, but when he wakes, everything feels strange and Gerard's staring down at him, eyes wide. He tries to right himself, but his legs aren't working the way he expects them to, and he ends up spinning in the water. "What—" he tries to say, but the word is muffled and garbled, because he's under water.

He thrashes and when he looks, his legs are gone, replaced by a smooth, scaled tailfin like Gerard's. He wiggles his fingers and they're webbed, and when he tries to inhale, he feels the way his gills flutter. It's a strange sensation, almost ticklish, and it's going to take some time to get used to.

He uses his tail to turn, a little clumsily, and faces Gerard, who is still staring at him like he can't believe what he's seeing. Frank can't blame him; turning like this was a little unexpected. He fins his way closer and Gerard suddenly shudders and reaches out. Frank throws himself at Gerard and holds tight.

-fin-

**Author's Note:**

> Aka: I was so lucky in getting to work with Rhea314. She is an amazing podficcer and she was a joy to work with. We brainstormed mer!Gerard early on and I'd settled on pining and longing as a theme. We talked about music and sound effects and I'm really impressed with what Rhea has done for the final product. It's amazing. And she _sings_!
> 
> This story turned out to be one of the more difficult things I've ever written. I was trying to keep a delicate, dreamy tone to it, and that required a light touch and all I wanted to do was world build for Gerard's people and explain why and what and where...
> 
> Please take the time to listen to the podfic and comment to Rhea; she worked hard and I'd really like to see her work appreciated the way it should be.
> 
> Fish that shocks Gerard (because I'm such a nerd): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electric_ray


End file.
